Hey everyone, I’m here! It’s true, I am!
We have some news from the past week involving some really funny names, so let’s read on.
We start in sports where our Sporting Affairs Correspondent (Kickball, Lacrosse, Equestrian and Racquetball specialist) Mark Sackler gets us on the way with this small yellow ball centered report :
What’s the key to improving the present dismal state of Men’s professional tennis in the U.S? It just might be players with no last names. Two Americans are in the semi-finals of the boys’ singles draw at the French Open setting up the prospect of an all American final: 18-year old Tommy Paul and 17-year-old Taylor Harry Fritz, the latter of whom we mentioned in a run down of funny names at last year’s U.S. Open. They both won their quarter-final matches and can meet in the final if they win in the semis today (Friday). Ok, so Fritz does have a last name, it’s just that it’s his first name.
OK, I admit it, I was supposed to write this last week but I forgot, so the match was actually last week. Spoiler alert, Tommy Paul won, thanks to his superior first name usage rate.
It’s headed right for him!
From our Political (Democratic And Virginian Equality) Correspondent Dave we have the news that Mr. Russ Feingold is running for Senate again against the stand-up sounding Ron Johnson. We wish both of them the best. I think.
There is more political news, thankfully saving me from more ridiculous acronyms. Everyone’s favorite oven mitt figure Willard “Mitt” Romney had what Dave is describing as an “extremely serious” two round boxing match against champ Evander Holyfield.
According to CNN, the match featured “gentle blows that appeared more like a tickle fight than a boxing match”, which may titillate some but apparently did not make for a legendary sporting event. Well-known disco enthusiast Romney entered the ring to the tune of “I Will Survive”, and proceeded to not die in the ring to everyone’s great pleasure. The event aimed to raise $1 million dollars to cover 40,000 surgeries for the blind, which we can only salute, as it should greatly raise the standard of boxing judges.
Tzipi Hotovely brought her ruffley shirt into office, and immediately began to ruffle some feathers. Coincidence? Of course not.
In Foreign Land News, Israel has a new deputy foreign minister, and her name is Tzipi Hotovely! Can’t get more qualified than having that name. She went on to start her tenure to say some controversial stuff, which is always a good way to get your name out there. Well, it’s a way at least. This one was also dug out by our Diplomatic Affairs Vice Executive Dave.
And finally, one for all you earthquake-proof building fans out there. Japan has been investing big time into buildings that can withstand even fierce earthquakes. The effort is detailed in this article, which to me is notable mostly for its quotes from Ronald O. Hamburger, a structural engineer at the San Francisco- based Simpson Gumpertz & Heger engineering firm. We will definitely hire them for the new Funny Names Blog HQ.
Thanks for stopping by, hope to catch you all next time!
FNitN never disappoints!
Whew! Good thing I got the rap battle in before this! This would have just totally spoiled the pretext.
I think the rap battle inspired Arto to write a slew of posts over the next week, so stay tuned!
It was a good launching pad for this one. Nothing like a rap battle to launch a blog into a weekend.
I love this, and the acronyms! Who cares if the news is delayed – when it’s delivered this way, it’s always awesome!
P.S. Speaking of delayed news – news of Golden Girl Rue McClanahan’s death keeps circulating every year on the anniversary of her death, even though she died 5 years ago yesterday! What’s up with that?!?
Acronyms sort of started accidentally, when I realized the first three initials of Sports Affairs Correspondent happened to line up with Mark’s. It was off from there. Nice job spelling it all out with the bold font. I figured if people failed to realize what was going on with the letters they’d just find the titles a bit odd.
oh, i first thought that tzipi’s last name was hotlovely, and thought perhaps it was someone’s editorial, thanks for clearing that up. now it is much more normal )
I kept reading it as “how lovely”, which is a very nice way to misread someone’s name. Reminds me of what people might say at an afternoon tea party if they could only use two words the whole time.
I’d probably mess it up and say “Hot lovely!” at a tea party.
And people would look at me real weird and I’d be like, Oops.
I can’t get past Tee-Zippy’s dual blouse situation. A blouse upon a blouse. This is giving me a headache. I’m glad Tommy Paul tasted victory. I’m afraid Ron Paul won’t be able to say the same, in his presidential bid for 2016. It does not work in politics, although apparently you can be a governor with a repetitive name like Chris Christie. I am reminded also of Kiss guitarist Paul Stanley and his awesome old people double names.
I think all this leads to an obvious conclusion. Tommy Paul for President, and Tee-Zippy to sign up for blouse re-education courses.
Here, here!