Our resident sports expert Mark has informed me that the U.S. Open golf tournament is under way again. The Open, described by Wikipedia as being notable for its “pinched fairways” and “undulating greens” (golf seems to invite some poetry in its description), features some golfers with brilliant names. Among them, the following :
- Cody Gribble
- Joost Luiten
- Ollie Schniederjans
I’m delighted to tell you only one of these people is not American, but I’ll leave it to you to guess which.
Meanwhile on the basketball court, the Golden State Warriors won their first championship since 1975 in a six game series against the Cleveland Cavaliers this week, and I think no small part was played by the impressive collection of well named players on the roster. My personal favorites include Festus Ezeli, James Michael McAdoo, Andrew Bogut, Marreese Speights, and Ognjen Kuzmić .
Our congratulations to the whole group.
Meanwhile in Europe, various leaders are still bickering with Greece about how they should pay back their astronomical debts that everyone knows they will never in a million years be able to pay back. Germany is suggesting annual payments of 500 million gyro sandwiches, while the Greeks are refusing to budge and only offering thirty six servings of souvlaki. It’s a real pickle. Among those negotiating for extra feta cheese in the payments is Dutch Eurogroup President Jeroen Dijsselbloem.
Meanwhile in Georgia (the country, not the home state of Ollie Schniederjans), massive flooding caused many zoo animals to escape the Tbilisi Zoo, among them an enterprising penguin who made it all the way to the Azerbaijani border 40 miles away. The penguin was spotted at the border but slipped away from its pursuers to find a better life in Azerbaijan. There’s no funny name in this story, but since news reports didn’t give a name for the penguin I’ll name it Rufus A. Dinklefuss to qualify for this blog. Hey, it’s allowed by our standards. I don’t make the rules here.*
And to wrap it all up, we go to the “most consistently captivating woman in her 80’s on social media“, Baddie Winkle of Knoxville, Tennessee. She’s been delighting Instagram users since her first image in 2014 in which she wore “a tie-dyed Grateful Dead bears T-shirt, jorts, and high socks covered with pink marijuana leaves.” We can see why the kids might find that interesting.