We have today a very special news report from England. This is perhaps not of as great a historical import as yesterday’s roundup by Mark, but it crossed our threshold of amusement.
The BBC gives us this very special headline that leads us to our story : “Grimsby Town inflatable shark attack fan convicted“.
We learn from the report that Kenneth Meech, a 51-year-old resident of Grimsby in Northern England and local football fan, has been convicted in court of assaulting a steward at a soccer game with an inflatable shark.
Mr. Meech performed the odd battering out of joy as he was celebrating the team’s 3-1 victory over Barnet, but it seems his joy has come at a cost. He’ll have to pay at least £800 in compensation.
On top of it all, I’m delighted report that the victim in the shark battering is identified as one Cgagi Gladyng.
Delightfully, the defendant decided to pose with his inflatable shark in front of the court house.
The report states that “Mr Gladyng, 59, told the court he was hurt by the inflatable which was being waved “like an axe” and described the three blows to his head “as like being hit by a roll of paper“”.
I think we can all imagine the sheer horror of being hit three times with some paper.
To cap it all off, the convicted shark wielder described his reaction to the decision thusly :
“I’m a bit deflated, to be honest.”
This concludes our special inflatable report.
I was hit by a small gust of wind once, but I lost my case against the Met Office.
Ah, wind always has the good attorneys.
There’s more news coming from the UK today. You probably thought golf was a somewhat funny-name-challenged sport, but in fact the Open Championship starting today at the birthplace of the sport at St. Andrews, Scotland, is just chock full of tongue twisters.
Louis Oosthuizen, Retief Goosen. We need to take a good long look at South Africa one of these days here. Good FNITN material there.
Those two have been around so long, I forget that their names are funny. I’ve already written it up for this week’s FNITN–and deleted the outdated Wimbledon stuff that never got published last week. (hint, hint)
Haha, thanks for keeping him honest, Mark! Isn’t it funny how names like Retief Goosen become so famous you forget how funny they are – much like Barack Obama, Mitt Romney, Elvis Presley, etc. There are so many funny names out there that we just gloss over now!
There’s no way I’d ever stop giggling at a name like Retief Goosen.
Rob used to joke that Goosen should be sponsored by Rolaids, because then they could say “Rolaids…. spells Retief!”
How do you pronounce Cgagi, I wonder? I’m assuming Gladyng is of Welsh origin.
If you ever run out of funny names, the Welsh have you covered. Until they solve that national vowel shortage, it’s funny name gold over there.
I think the C has an “S” sound, so maybe you pronounce it like “Skaggy”? Arto can probably fill us in more, since he lived on that side of the pond, and is the one who shared this story initially.
Looking it up, I guess it’s a hard c sound, so it’d be something like “coggy”. Those mad Welsh!
Coggy! That’s awesome!
So much goodness in this one story! Thank you for sharing Art man!
oh, i love this so –
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This is very close to being the best inflatable shark story I’ve ever read in my life.
I’m very curious to find out which one holds the top spot.
So many little g’s in one name! And so much virility in a man who fears being whacked by paper. I’ve seen little boys sword and saber-fighting take on harder blows.
Oh, no, not the paper!
Any explanations for the massive number of views Arto’s inflatable shark post suddenly got???
If I’d known it was going to get so many views, I would have written more replies, to try to get more attention.
Looks like it was linked to on reddit.com, through which a swarm of Grimsby Town fans eager to get some new celebration tips came over.