A Special Inflatable News Report from England

We have today a very special news report from England. This is perhaps not of as great a historical import as yesterday’s roundup by Mark, but it crossed our threshold of amusement.

The BBC gives us this very special headline that leads us to our story : “Grimsby Town inflatable shark attack fan convicted“.

We learn from the report that Kenneth Meech, a 51-year-old resident of Grimsby in Northern England and local football fan, has been convicted in court of assaulting a steward at a soccer game with an inflatable shark.

Mr. Meech performed the odd battering out of joy as he was celebrating the team’s 3-1 victory over Barnet, but it seems his joy has come at a cost. He’ll have to pay at least £800 in compensation.

On top of it all, I’m delighted report that the victim in the shark battering is identified as one Cgagi Gladyng.

Grimsby Shark Attack Man Poses with Weapon

Delightfully, the defendant decided to pose with his inflatable shark in front of the court house.

The report states that “Mr Gladyng, 59, told the court he was hurt by the inflatable which was being waved “like an axe” and described the three blows to his head “as like being hit by a roll of paper“”.

I think we can all imagine the sheer horror of being hit three times with some paper.

To cap it all off, the convicted shark wielder described his reaction to the decision thusly :

“I’m a bit deflated, to be honest.”

This concludes our special inflatable report.

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About Arto

Co-founder of the Funny Names Blog, Hawaiian shirt enthusiast, and holder of a funny name himself with too many vowels for any sensible person. Currently residing in San Diego, California, scouring through obscure documents on a hunt for more funny names. www.funnynamesblog.wordpress.com
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21 Responses to A Special Inflatable News Report from England

  1. I was hit by a small gust of wind once, but I lost my case against the Met Office.

  2. marksackler says:

    There’s more news coming from the UK today. You probably thought golf was a somewhat funny-name-challenged sport, but in fact the Open Championship starting today at the birthplace of the sport at St. Andrews, Scotland, is just chock full of tongue twisters.

    • Arto says:

      Louis Oosthuizen, Retief Goosen. We need to take a good long look at South Africa one of these days here. Good FNITN material there.

      • marksackler says:

        Those two have been around so long, I forget that their names are funny. I’ve already written it up for this week’s FNITN–and deleted the outdated Wimbledon stuff that never got published last week. (hint, hint)

        • Dave says:

          Haha, thanks for keeping him honest, Mark! Isn’t it funny how names like Retief Goosen become so famous you forget how funny they are – much like Barack Obama, Mitt Romney, Elvis Presley, etc. There are so many funny names out there that we just gloss over now!

  3. midlifemeg says:

    How do you pronounce Cgagi, I wonder? I’m assuming Gladyng is of Welsh origin.

    If you ever run out of funny names, the Welsh have you covered. Until they solve that national vowel shortage, it’s funny name gold over there.

  4. Dave says:

    So much goodness in this one story! Thank you for sharing Art man!

  5. ksbeth says:

    oh, i love this so –

  6. Pingback: Poor Business Advice, No-Good Latin, and Low Quality Moonwalking in FNITN 107 | The Blog of Funny Names

  7. wdydfae says:

    This is very close to being the best inflatable shark story I’ve ever read in my life.

  8. kerbey says:

    So many little g’s in one name! And so much virility in a man who fears being whacked by paper. I’ve seen little boys sword and saber-fighting take on harder blows.

  9. wdydfae says:

    Any explanations for the massive number of views Arto’s inflatable shark post suddenly got???

    If I’d known it was going to get so many views, I would have written more replies, to try to get more attention.

    • Arto says:

      Looks like it was linked to on reddit.com, through which a swarm of Grimsby Town fans eager to get some new celebration tips came over.

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