Funny Names in the News Vol. 108 with Mashpee, Tootoo Magic, Earl Sweatshirt

Welcome to another edition of Funny Names in the News, our weekly-ish feature where we read the news, spot amusing and unusual names, and then tell you about them. What a concept it is!

We start in boxing, where our resident fisticuffs expert Dave tells us, that [Dave’s edit:the absolutely amazing!!!!! seriously, she’s amazing and is already an Olympic gold medalist] Claressa Shields of Flint, Michigan beat Yenebier Guillen Benitez of the Dominican Republic in the women’s middleweight finals of the Pan American games last Friday. That makes her the first American woman to win boxing gold at the Pan Am games.

Hooray for Claressa!

Earl Sweatshirt, pictured not wearing a sweatshirt.

Earl Sweatshirt, pictured not wearing a sweatshirt.

Elsewhere in sports, we have this probing question from the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation : Is Atiqtalaaq Uuttuvak the next Jordin Tootoo?

I know, it’s great.  In case you’re “out of the loop” on Northern Canadian sporting matters, Tootoo (who naturally wears the number #22 on his jersey) was the first person born in the distant Nunavut territory to play in the NHL. Uuttuvak, who goes by just “Q” to make it easier for everyone, aims to follow in his footsteps, and the 9-year-old is playing against older opponents in Europe this summer to get his game going. His father Sheutiapik Peter says the young Atiqtalaaq (thanks copy-paste) is “a modest team player” . We think he’s a winner already.

Moving on to film, and the delightful news that longtime Martin Scorsese collaborator and film editor Thelma Schoonmaker is among the five people being honored by the Directors Guild of America this October in a ceremony in New York. In honor of her work in editing Scorsese pictures, she’ll cut her speech down to 3 manic hours of swearing, hitting attendees with baseball bats, and eating dinner with Marty’s mom.

Fiddler Tootoo Glory Bump

Jordin Tootoo high-fiving teammate Vernon Fiddler (seriously) to celebrate the glory of Nunavut.

Elsewhere, into slightly upsetting news. The rapper Earl Sweatshirt is considering changing his rap name. Don’t do it, Earl!

And finally, the town of Falmouth, MA is going to be new steward of the Nobska Lighthouse. Co-President of the Woods Hole Community Association, Catherine O. Bumpus, made the announcement earlier in the week. Falmouth is of course found in Barnstable County, right there next to Sandwich, Mashpee, and Buzzards Bay counties. Gotta get out there at some point and take pictures of all the great signage they must have.







About Arto

Co-founder of the Funny Names Blog, Hawaiian shirt enthusiast, and holder of a funny name himself with too many vowels for any sensible person. Currently residing in San Diego, California, scouring through obscure documents on a hunt for more funny names.
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15 Responses to Funny Names in the News Vol. 108 with Mashpee, Tootoo Magic, Earl Sweatshirt

  1. Earl Sweatshirt must not change his name. It would leave a big hole in the fabric of the wrapper community! I’ll have Nunavut.

    By the way, I’d like to have some Mashpee on my Sandwich. Thank you very much. 🙂

    • Arto says:

      That does sound delicious.

      Canadian province puns are the best. There really are too manitoba counted of them out there. Mine might have been the worst one of all.

      Thanks Fannie, let’s show our support to Earl by…I don’t know, wearing some sweatshirts? Is it cold in your neck of the woods these days? Let’s do it anyway!

      • Dave says:

        Took me a while, but I get it… “many to be” counted! Haha, I agree that might have been the worst.

        Can I outdo it? Not sure… But as the DJ always Saskatchewan the flip side!

        • Arto says:

          Ooh boy. These are getting bad. At least there’s more sports in the horizon. The last Olympics were in London and next year we’re Ontario.

  2. kerbey says:

    We stopped by a spirits store hier soir for some Crabbie’s ginger beer, and while there, the young man gave us a sample of their cucumber moonshine. I tossed it back and looked down my shirt to make sure hair had not grown on my chest (as it tasted like rubbing alcohol), I probably made a culturally insensitive remark about the “hill people” and a Camaro up on blocks, but the point is that a person named Vernon Fiddler is precisely the kind of person who would make and drink moonshine.

    Is that really Martin Scorsese’s mother? It looks like Martin in a Mrs. Doubtfire wig. Awesome.

    And this is delicious: Atiqtalaaq Uuttuvak. It’s like a jaw-warming exercise before one goes on stage to sing.

    • Arto says:

      You’re so right about the jaw-warmer! That’s going to be my new mantra for those moments you need mantras for. Like moonshine tastings.

      Vernon Fiddler is indeed the moonshine type. In the picture they were playing for Nashville, which is the perfect place for a guy named Fiddler, you’d think.

      That is indeed Mrs. Scorsese! The resemblance is great, and even better that in the movie she played Joe Pesci’s mom. I wonder what Joe Pesci’s mom actually looks like.

    • Dave says:

      That comment was so inspiring, I just tried to use Atiqtalaaq Uutuvak as a jaw-warming exercise before I take a stroll around campus. Not sure how well it worked 🙂

  3. Dave says:

    Diggin’ the Earl Sweatshirt caption, and I totally love those Massachusetts county names! So much fun signage! Maybe that’s where we should have our Funny Names convention if that ever ends up happening!

  4. wdydfae says:

    In honor of her work in editing Scorsese pictures, she’ll cut her speech down to 3 manic hours of swearing, hitting attendees with baseball bats, and eating dinner with Marty’s mom.

    It’s early still, but I hope that makes the nomination for best BoFN quip of 2015.

  5. ksbeth says:

    we need to make a ‘save the sweatshirt’ sweatshirt to bolster the campaign.

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