OK, readers of the Blog of Funny Names, today we dip our sticks into the world of paint.
Yes, I may have been around too many open cans while working in the paint department at the store.
But I can’t help but be amused when a customer walks up to the paint desk, proudly thrusts a chip in my face and asks me to mix up some of … (And, yes, that’s what they call those snippets of tough paper that hold the colors and bar codes. Chips. Ahoy, there.)
My mind races when somebody actual says the name, as in, “Can I have a Gallon of Cream in My Coffe?”
Wow, I think, what a big mug you must have!
Of course, no.
That’s the name of a beige-ish color featured by the Valspar company.
See for yourself, from the paint company’s site.
At least I get that one, the relationship of name and color.
Some are just way, way out there.
Get a load of the hue below the beige: Jekyll Club Pulitzer Blue. Was the paint-namer that day thinking about a split personality, a pending country club membership for winning an international prize for writing or peace?
From my experience with the brands they sell at the store, it’s an industry-wide practice.
For equal time, I present this page from Sherwin-Williams.
In what room of the house might you like to paint the walls Sedate Gray? OK, the meditation room, I’ll give you that one. But your doctor might use it in pre-op, no?
And how about Expressive Plum? Don’t talk back to me, fruit plate.
OK, they set the mood so you don’t have to think so hard.
From Olympic, we have a couple of head-scratchers.
Does Always Blue threaten to change to Sometimes Red when you’re out for dinner?
Does Happy Trails not anger you so much if it leaves a trail of drips down the wall as you paint?
I do smile when the customer hands me the paint chip, we finalize the details about finish, grade of paint, size of the can, and I steal a glance at the name of the color they’ve selected.