Okily dokily folks! It’s Dave here on a rare day off (Happy Memorial Day) with another fun-filled edition of Funny Names in the News!
Our 120th installment makes FNITN older than anyone on Earth. Sure, some people may think that you should measure the ages of blog features in years, rather than editions, but we know better! FNITN turns 120 today, and may it live long and prosperously!
On the very-wise/sage/aged/awesome people note, we are sad to announce that the world’s oldest woman, Susannah Mushatt Jones, died two weeks ago at age 116. You may remember Susannah fondly (no Kerbey, not fondle-ly, although that was a comment we were all thinking about) from our rip-roarin’ 118th edition last month.
Moving from legendary longevity to legendary levity,* there are reports that some stiff-lipped dorkuses have decided that Boaty McBoatface is not the coolest name for a boat ever, and instead decided to name the fledgling vessel the RRS Sir David Attenborough. Now David Attenborough is a cool guy, but in my not-so-humble opinion, as a Dave myself, the name David isn’t nearly as fun as Boaty McBoatface!!! So the name Boaty McBoatface is dead, but long live Boaty McBoatface! Hat tip to newly-minted futurist, Markelangelo Sackler, for this one!
* Get it? Because it floats, and because the name is super light-hearted and fantastic?!?
On to amazing names that did end up on a birth certificate, and a major league roster too! Oakland Athletics ballplayer Coco Crisp listed his amazingly lavish estate (which includes a full baseball diamond) for $9.995 million, which is “about 10 million bucks” for those of us who abhor long decimal statements, and will never see that much dollarz in our lives! I hope someone buys it soon, because I know a lot of people would be delighted to see the name Coco Crisp on a real estate contract.
Lastly, in multicultural name guy news, a magically-named fella from the San Diego area just made headlines for romantic reasons! Igor Burgos Maron just proposed at a college commencement at San Diego’s Mesa College.
Gotta love that…. brains and boldness and brilliant border-bending names. I wish the happy couple a splendid future and a chance to see their kiddos graduate and propose and all that jazz, should they so choose.
Dats it for now folks! Enjoy a splendid Memorial Day with friends, family fiancees, and if you decide to go out cruisin’, may Boaty McBoatface be in your future!