Longevity, Romance, and Boaty McBoatface in Funny Names in the News 120

Okily dokily folks! It’s Dave here on a rare day off (Happy Memorial Day) with another fun-filled edition of Funny Names in the News!

Our 120th installment makes FNITN older than anyone on Earth. Sure, some people may think that you should measure the ages of blog features in years, rather than editions, but we know better! FNITN turns 120 today, and may it live long and prosperously!

Susannah Mushatt Jones lookin' cool on her 113th birthday. She saw more history first-hand than most History Channel-watching couch potatoes will ever witness! RIP Susannah, and I hope there's bacon in heaven.

Susannah Mushatt Jones lookin’ cool on her 113th birthday. She saw more history first-hand than most History Channel-watching couch potatoes will ever witness! RIP Susannah, and I hope there’s bacon in heaven.

On the very-wise/sage/aged/awesome people note, we are sad to announce that the world’s oldest woman, Susannah Mushatt Jones, died two weeks ago at age 116. You may remember Susannah fondly (no Kerbey, not fondle-ly, although that was a comment we were all thinking about) from our rip-roarin’ 118th edition last month.

Boaty McBoatfaceMoving from legendary longevity to legendary levity,* there are reports that some stiff-lipped dorkuses have decided that Boaty McBoatface is not the coolest name for a boat ever, and instead decided to name the fledgling vessel the RRS Sir David Attenborough. Now David Attenborough is a cool guy, but in my not-so-humble opinion, as a Dave myself, the name David isn’t nearly as fun as Boaty McBoatface!!! So the name Boaty McBoatface is dead, but long live Boaty McBoatface! Hat tip to newly-minted futurist, Markelangelo Sackler, for this one!


* Get it? Because it floats, and because the name is super light-hearted and fantastic?!?

On to amazing names that did end up on a birth certificate, and a major league roster too! Oakland Athletics ballplayer Coco Crisp listed his amazingly lavish estate (which includes a full baseball diamond) for $9.995 million, which is “about 10 million bucks” for those of us who abhor long decimal statements, and will never see that much dollarz in our lives! I hope someone buys it soon, because I know a lot of people would be delighted to see the name Coco Crisp on a real estate contract.

Young love, of the educated variety. Congrats to Igor Burgos Maron and his new fiancee Sarah Ann Farmer

Young love, of the educated variety. Congrats to Igor Burgos Maron and his new fiancee Sarah Ann Farmer

Lastly, in multicultural name guy news, a magically-named fella from the San Diego area just made headlines for romantic reasons! Igor Burgos Maron just proposed at a college commencement at San Diego’s Mesa College.

Gotta love that…. brains and boldness and brilliant border-bending names. I wish the happy couple a splendid future and a chance to see their kiddos graduate and propose and all that jazz, should they so choose.

Dats it for now folks! Enjoy a splendid Memorial Day with friends, family fiancees, and if you decide to go out cruisin’, may Boaty McBoatface be in your future!

About Dave

Based out of San Diego, California. Co-founder of the Blog of Funny Names. funnynamesblog.wordpress.com
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24 Responses to Longevity, Romance, and Boaty McBoatface in Funny Names in the News 120

  1. wdydfae says:

    no Kerbey, not fondle-ly

    Uwww! Zapped that one.

    But face it, you’ll only encourage her.

    Hey, don’t forget Schoolie McSchoolface!

    • kerbey says:

      Diddy is right. The school rule we learned was that no one should touch you in your “bikini area,” and that is clearly bikini territory. Cobwebby, crepe-y (and now deceased and probably festering) territory, but still.

      • Dave says:

        I hereby nominate kerbey von kerbeyson for the “Innovations in Adjectives” award, 2016. You join an esteemed panel of eligible linguists who have been recognized for their contributions to the field.

        • kerbey says:

          Oh, my gosh, y’all. Just being nominated with all the other linguists is amazing. But crushing them like a snake under my heel and getting the infamous IIA award to put on my mantle would mean everything. By the way, I was looking at an old yearbook today (duh), and there was a Dick Dyke so I told my husband, “What a terrible name! Then again, he’s only a Van away from being a celebrity.”

          • Dave says:

            Hahahaha, the old yearbook fascination makes so much more sense to me, now that I understand the funny names connection. I love it when the world makes a bit more sense!

          • Dave says:

            kerbey crushes snakes with her heel. That’s just one more she’s awesome!

    • Dave says:

      Schoolie McSchoolface would be quite a spelling challenge for the kiddos. I approve. And encouraging kerbey is a big part of my job description these days.

      Haha, job. I don’t know what that is 🙂

  2. ksbeth says:

    i have to admit that i was kind of upset about boaty’s name being rejected – it was perfect.

  3. kerbey says:

    Boaty lost all its street cred. Or sea cred, should that be the case. No one raps of sea cred. Someone should! Maybe there is a pirate rapper somewhere on the waves. One of the members of the band Kansas has an eye patch: close enough. And to think I was going to go eat Scotchy Scotch Scotch ice cream on Boaty McBoatface!

    • Dave says:

      Meaningful thoughts, in bullet form:
      – Sea cred sounds like Seacrest. Good ol’ Ryan needs to get on that, now that he’s kinda unemployed, and clearly struggling financially. Thar must be some dubloons and plunder for the fella in the sea cred game.
      – I just consulted the GoogleTubes and you’re right, a Kansas guy has an eye patch. This is a new development…. none of the pictures I’d seen of Kansas had eye patchy fellas. Maybe all that dust in the wind got in his eye, but he decided to carry on, that wayward son.
      – Scotchy scotch scotch shouldn’t be an ice cream flavor. It should be a scotch flavor. If I ever run for El Presidente, this will be a major part of my platform.
      – There IS a pirate rapper: Captain Dan and the Scurvy Crew! https://captaindan.bandcamp.com/album/divide-the-plunder-the-best-of-pirate-rap
      Thank you GoogleTubes for that one too!

      • kerbey says:

        Avast, ye BoFN matey, these are scrumtrilescent bullets. I can’t believe I didn’t see “Yo Ho Ho” coming. That song wrote itself.

        I actually chuckled at the SO OBVIOUS reason of dust in the wind getting in his eye. I should have known that. It’s just a drop of water in an endless sea.

        I will forward this suggestion to Seacrest. I think he lacks the upper body strength to plunder (unlike the amazing Ninja Warriors on NBC last night), but he is always down for dubloons.

  4. Rio says:

    I have a boat name story. My parents’ boat was named Uhuru, which means freedom in Swahili. They were on the boat somewhere near Kingston, Ontario, Canada when I had to reach them to inform them of a death in the family. I had no call numbers for them, only a general description of the boat and the name, “Uhuru”. I called the Marine dispatch and they put me through to Kingston.
    When I told the person on the line that I wanted to reach the boat “Uhuru” the man said,
    “You’re going to need to give me more than that!”
    I, cheeky devil that I was back then said, “How many boats named Uhuru are there? It’s Swahili for Freedom you know!”
    “Over twenty at least today.”
    “How many Africans are there in Kingston Ontario?”
    “No man! This is Kingston Jamaica!” 😛

    • Dave says:

      Wow!!!! That is an unbelievable story! So incredible!

      I was raised in BC from age 2 or 3 to 11, and I met BoFN co-founder Arto during a brief stint in undergrad at the University of Calgary, but I’ve never been east of Alberta. What a failure of a Canadian! I think the appropriate Canadian penance is to apologize a lot. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry!

      • Rio says:

        Well, no doubt eastern Canada is less than it could be because of this. I hitchhiked out west once but I only got as far as Banff. I have family in B.C. that I saw at a funeral recently. What is this Man Bun thing? I was prepared for the wrinkled clothes of non-descript mottled colours but not the men wearing scrunchie-buns.
        Just kidding! I love West Coasters!

  5. wdydfae says:

    Some great David Attenborough footage here:

    • Dave says:

      Wow! I was getting ready to be impressed by Mr. Attenborough’s awesome voice, but the Lyrebird totally stole the show! I am not worthy….

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