Words on Dave
by Ogdydd Naesh
Dave is sometimes known as King,
And has a fondness for boxing.
He also has been known to spar
With WordPress and rock guitar.
For funny names Dave has a passion,
Which puts his own name out of fashion;
Dave’s name is nice enough, but plain,
As Dave himself likes to explain.
They say Dave’s clever like Tom Edison,
And it’s a fact he studies medicine.
Is there anything Dave can’t do?
Our research team can’t prove it’s true.
One’s called Angie and one’s named Clifford;
They’ve gone out armed with pencil and clipboard.
So far, they report one fact:
Dave loves people, and they love him back.
We’ve never met a soul so brave
To say, “Sorry, I can’t do that, Dave.”
Confronted with Dave’s charms galore,
Even HAL would lift that pod bay door.
“Anything you say, Dave. No problemo!”
Dave’s also known for his good deeds,
Helping all in all their needs.
He’s gone for missions on a scooter,
To serve mankind as MCAT tutor.
Sometimes after bouts of FNitN
Dave’s gone out to save some kittens,
He takes them mewling from a branch,
To the refuge of Amb’s kitten ranch.
We should mention Dave’s oblivious
To making females flibbertigibbeous,
And causing them to turn their heads,
Which swell and smoke and turn bright red.
Latest victims of disaster:
Three winsome NBC newscasters.
Responding to these ladies’ swoons,
Medics rushed to their newsroom.
They say one’s stable, one still critical,
And one more still flibbertigibbical.
We plan to get some flowers and visitem.
Please note that one’s named Megan Tevrizian.
Finely named reporter among latest to succomb to Daveswoon.
Yes, Dave has many gifts, so various.
Did we mention he’s hilarious?
At BoFN for the longest while
He’s posted with great comic style.
And now we come to the real test:
Which BoFN post by Dave is best?
Different readers have their favorite
From all the many posts that Dave writ.
For posts in which Dave best cavorts,
Some say FNitN, and some sports.
To venture judgment I’m quite leery,
But I say the one on Funny Names Theory.
Now we’ll hear hairsplitters fidget,
“That’s not a post, it’s just a widget.”
And if that’s true my crime is heenius,
But that one really shows Dave’s genius.
Inspiration, depth, and range,
A perfect mix of weird and strange,
That post as any fool hazzter see’s
A blazing comic masterpiece.
You wouldn’t doubt me, or think that droll,
If Mark Sackler made a poll.
“View Results” would surely indicate it,
And get my choice for best post vindicated.
That Dave, we could go on on himmit’s
Just that BoFN has word limits.
But before you stroll away,
There’s one more thing we have to say.
Dave helps all, but who helps Dave?
If you’ve got some riches saved,
Don’t spend it all this coming Sundy:
Go and visit Dave’s GoFundMe.
The Blog of Funny Names 
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Mdiddy, you have outdone yourself. Wow. Wow. Wow.
I will have to grease my blurb generator with dark chocolate and coffee to even come up with comment worthy of your post!
Hey, Fannie! Thanks. Anything for THE MAN!
Like the thought of the blurb generator churning through dark chocolate and coffee!
Welcome to my world. 🙂
Reblogged this on Fannie Cranium's and commented:
Rave for Dave Day 7 at the Blog of Funny Names.
Wow, just took a glance this morning, but amazing stuff – thanks Diddy!
You’re the man, King Dave!
Genius, just geeeeenius, especially “still flibbertigibbical.” I’m presuming Amb’s kitten ranch is nothing like the “chicken ranch” we had here in Texas. And thanks to last night’s episode of “Cash Cab,” I know exactly who HAL is!
Thanks, Kerb! I think I got flibbertigibbity from Amb at some point, back in the Ambean Age.
I love the Ambean Age. When I read it, I saw streamers, confetti, and colorful butterflies. Miss those days. 🙂
excellent and epic flibbertigibbical post!
Thanks, ksbeth!
DIBS ON FLIBERTIGIBBERTY !!!!
Sorry. What I meant to say was, this post is stupendous, and if I could express my love for it in rhyming couplets, I would. Please accept these virtual streamers and confetti and hearts and sparkles instead !!!
She’s back!
Man, we’ve missed you!
OK, I did reference you on flibertigibberty, so you gotta give me that at least. Plus, made it rhyme with “critical” and “oblivious”
Pretty neat, huh?
Sorry to miss your post, mdiddy. Was road tripping with the fam, think Vacation circa Chevy Chase. You have much to say here! Love your poem – it perfectly reflects the insanity that is BoFN and its contributors. Am proud to have gotten the HAL reference, too, having just read Odyssey. Hadn’t realized the movie and book were produced/written in the same (approximate) time period and each went their own way with the ending. What did you think of the movie? I haven’t seen. Book was kind of freaky. Dated for sure. Have you seen the more recent Passengers? For sure they ripped off Space Odyssey. Hope things go well on your end. Glad to be at the same party again.
Hey there, Liz! I’ve been off lost in my own wild road trip so I didn’t comment right away. Thanks! I couldn’t place what you were commenting about for a minute–that’s how far I got off the WordPress grid.
Well, 2001 is a brilliant classic movie, stays fresh, always something new to notice in it. The book was pretty much pulp, in my view. The movie was doing something very, very different. (My least favorite parts are the psychedelic tunnel and the space baby.) I haven’t seen the new ones you mention but will keep eyes open!
Enjoy the new school year with the Liz family!