Words on Dave
by Ogdydd Naesh
Dave is sometimes known as King,
And has a fondness for boxing.
He also has been known to spar
With WordPress and rock guitar.
For funny names Dave has a passion,
Which puts his own name out of fashion;
Dave’s name is nice enough, but plain,
As Dave himself likes to explain.
They say Dave’s clever like Tom Edison,
And it’s a fact he studies medicine.
Is there anything Dave can’t do?
Our research team can’t prove it’s true.
One’s called Angie and one’s named Clifford;
They’ve gone out armed with pencil and clipboard.
So far, they report one fact:
Dave loves people, and they love him back.
We’ve never met a soul so brave
To say, “Sorry, I can’t do that, Dave.”
Confronted with Dave’s charms galore,
Even HAL would lift that pod bay door.
Dave’s also known for his good deeds,
Helping all in all their needs.
He’s gone for missions on a scooter,
To serve mankind as MCAT tutor.
Sometimes after bouts of FNitN
Dave’s gone out to save some kittens,
He takes them mewling from a branch,
To the refuge of Amb’s kitten ranch.
We should mention Dave’s oblivious
To making females flibbertigibbeous,
And causing them to turn their heads,
Which swell and smoke and turn bright red.
Latest victims of disaster:
Three winsome NBC newscasters.
Responding to these ladies’ swoons,
Medics rushed to their newsroom.
They say one’s stable, one still critical,
And one more still flibbertigibbical.
We plan to get some flowers and visitem.
Please note that one’s named Megan Tevrizian.
Yes, Dave has many gifts, so various.
Did we mention he’s hilarious?
At BoFN for the longest while
He’s posted with great comic style.
And now we come to the real test:
Which BoFN post by Dave is best?
Different readers have their favorite
From all the many posts that Dave writ.
For posts in which Dave best cavorts,
Some say FNitN, and some sports.
To venture judgment I’m quite leery,
But I say the one on Funny Names Theory.
Now we’ll hear hairsplitters fidget,
“That’s not a post, it’s just a widget.”
And if that’s true my crime is heenius,
But that one really shows Dave’s genius.
Inspiration, depth, and range,
A perfect mix of weird and strange,
That post as any fool hazzter see’s
A blazing comic masterpiece.
You wouldn’t doubt me, or think that droll,
If Mark Sackler made a poll.
“View Results” would surely indicate it,
And get my choice for best post vindicated.
That Dave, we could go on on himmit’s
Just that BoFN has word limits.
But before you stroll away,
There’s one more thing we have to say.
Dave helps all, but who helps Dave?
If you’ve got some riches saved,
Don’t spend it all this coming Sundy:
Go and visit Dave’s GoFundMe.